happy on Friday mornings

His name is Flare. Of course that's not his real name. It happens to come from a bulletin we had passed but I don't mind. He's all I've ever wanted. HE is the answer to my prayers.

There were hound dogs tracking me down St Johns Blvd. They passed but found me the second time round. I ran. Made my way into the house. But he came through my window and I couldn't help but feel he had come to save me. Like I was the Princess stuck in the castle for all her days until he found her.

When I was nine my mother died. She possessed powers. Powers I inherited but never learned to use. Dad kept them secret. I'm 20 now and being hunted by vampires. vampires studying at a liberal arts school. In the middle of working on a cast of Wizard of Oz the leader sniffs the situation... I am alive. HE has not done his job.

He has a dog named Uno who looks more vicious than any animal I have ever imagined. After nearly mauling me he sits straight and softly presses his paw on the top of my hand. I feel relief. I feel comfort.

We talk we stare and in what feels like no time at all.. our lips collide.

He was gentle and knew what he was doing. His face much more mature than mine. His muscles sweating, bulging. Round face, blue eyes, black shirt. He answered my questions to the most vague extent. Why? Who? What's next?

Dad started shooting rounds downstairs with the automatic. I knew time was running out.

Bursting in came Mandy. We escape. Flee down the stairs, through the green house, round the garden and across the highway.

We stop and I eventually catch my breath. When I do, I say the most shocking of statements. "I'm in love". She looks at me awkwardly, she has never heard me talk like this. I realize I've never heard me talk like this. Yes I repeat reassuringly in my head, yes. "I'M IN LOVE!", still nothing. I take a more serious tone, "Do you hear me? I love him".

He makes his way back as if he never lost sight of us. When I spot him I'm still short of breath. I try to steady my breathing. Deep breaths. I've never felt more relieved. Exhale, now smile. I throw my arms around his waist. He returns with an intense hug of his own and at that moment I know I will never feel vulnerable again.

Ashley appears. Keeping a close eye and in slow strides we follow the sidewalk.
Flare boosts me on top of his shoulders like Dad did when I was a little girl.
I feel rude realizing I haven't introduced my notable, my new found love. And then I realize.. I myself don't remember catching his name. So I ask. He glances around and replies in French. "Excuse me?" And when he replies again I think he says Flare de Luc. He hesitated. I don't believe him. So he hesitated? I don't care. I flash a smile of satisfaction.

"Flare this is Ashley and Mandy. Mandy and Ashley meet Flare".

I'm overwhelmed by happiness and I open my eyes. I'm awake but where is he?

More Important Things to Do

Today I've been deeply moved and reminded that I will NEVER be twenty again and that time is about to move faster and less kindly than I expect.

I'm in the process of reading CANCER IS A Bitch by Gail Konop Baker. So far.. so good. Her writing has caught me off guard a few times. Occasionally she will talk as if she is speaking in her head and I feel left lingering and thinking, was she just speaking in her head?

CANCER IS A Bitch makes me feel good for not often taking experiences, precious rare moments and even not the so great moments for granted. It'll all be over one day.. let today be good.

May today be good.
May you let love in.
May I bless your heart,
where shall I begin?
I bless your body.
I bless your life.
I bless your family and any strife.
May moments be merry.
May moments be bright.
May you remember the possibilities are out of your sight.
Please open your eyes.
Please go for the gold.
Please do what your heart tells you.
May you never grow old.


"I smell fear in the parched space between our lips -- sour and brittle; laced with all the things we forgot to say, all the times we didn't love one another enough".

Dear Ryan,

I want to take a chance.
When I look at you my knees get weak.
When I'm in your arms I can hardly speak.
You 'ought to know you are the one love,
that I adore.
I hope you never tell me lies.
I'm captured by your charm.
I can't wait to put lipstick on your collar.
I can't help myself,
I want you and nobody else.
I want to tease you during the day and please you at night.
I'll be your thrill after dark.
Only thing is I come and I go.
Changing with every new day.
Lose your dreams and lose your mind.
pg 1

I want to sleep in real late with you one Sunday afternoon.
Instead I'm lost in a daydream.
I've been dreaming since I woke up today,
thinking about some boy.
I want to give you more, more, more.
I want to be your baby.
Whenever you feel alone all you've got to do is call me,
run to me and I'll be there.
I'll love and squeeze you.
Just tell me how you feel and I'll give my heart to you.
You could have me all through the night.
Maybe we could even dance under the moonlight.
Hug me tight.
Do you wanna? make love under an apple tree?
Do I catch your eye?
I'd let you love me if you promised you'd never stop.
pg 2

Say that you'll be true and I'll never be blue.
If you can't be around, telephone.
I'll pick up.
I'm not make believe and neither is my love for you.
My heart I can't control.
I'll tell you what others will never know.
Let's sit down and enjoy a bottle of wine sometime and eat grapes off the vine.
I pray for the day.
Don't hold her hand, be mine.
Can I convince you with a pretty please?
Just say you will.
Everyday you're gone you know my heart only burns...

Always,
Alexandra