bye-bye Breckenridge

The sun shines, the snow falls and the living is good. Or is it?
It has come to my attention that the majority of ppl here in Breck are alchoholics, lazy potheads, unmotivated couch surfers/snowboard bums and above all, socially awkward idiots. Just ask Crystal..
Mingling with jackasses and drunks isn't my perspective of a good time, sorry Colorado.
So it's time to think of my next adventure, mission, vacation, big move.. whatever it is I'm doing. So far I've been chugging along solo but this time, I'm determined it will be different. Sure it's fun meeting new people, scoping restaurants you've never heard before and not worrying about the cute guy being interested in your girlfriend instead of you.. but what's the fun if we don't all get some? I want to share my experiences! Prefferably with my loves, my assholes, my women in combat Nance 'n Stace.
Oh how I miss you both so much. I miss giving drunk driving lectures to Ashley.. pissing Mandy off in the wee hours of the a.m.. I miss the the overflowing glasses of wine on the occassion Molly B attended the gathering, Halloween/beer pong/jiggers/jager/oatmeal cookies/and the bleeeeeeezy's @ Barb's, smokin in the attic while Mom and Dad were home, cigarrettes on the front porch, late nights at Muchas and infamous adventures with Alicia Grumbois.
I've been having a hell of a time... no doubts about that.. but maybe I'm growing up too fast? Maybe I should slow down? Take a step back? Conform... OHHHH how I hate to do that.

I'd like to enjoy the sun. I'd like to be surrounded by the people I love. I'd like to not feel alone. I'd like to be on the other side.. like always.

wishing myself luck

In less than 7 months I will be the legal age of twenty-one.
In less than 7 months I will be in Portland, OR celebrating my twenty first birthday.
In less than 7 months I will be hitting the streets of Vegas.
In less than 7 months I must be looking, fresh.

So, the plan is as follows:
30 minutes of walking everyday
No eating after 10
One weekly run
30 push ups a day
30 squats
30 v ups
30 jumping jacks
30 second plank

Yes.. I'll start with that. Adding reps when necessary.

I want tone legs and I want a flat belly. HOW DOES ONE ACHIEVE THIS? Somebody please, let me know.

I'll occassionally note how I'm doing.

In Love with the Glove

They are black leather with brass studs and 100% lambswool. I slip them on and feel myself transform. Ordinary me suddenly becomes sexy, stylish, slighty mysterious me.

They are essential I decide.
I buy them.


And so, I've aquired my first of many accessory essentials. And damn, does it feels good.

Be Gone CHEAP NOVELTY

For every woman who wants to be well and properly dressed on all occasions, this is a guide for you.

A

Accessories

You can always tell the character of a woman by the care and attention she lavishes upon the details of her dress. The accessories worn with an outfit --- gloves, hat, shoes and handbag --- are among the most imporant elements of an elegant appearance. A modest dress or suit can triple its face value when worn with an elegant hat, bag, gloves and shoes, while a designer's originial can lose much of its presige if its accessories have been carelessly selected. It is indispensable to own a complete set of accessories in black* and, if possible, another in brown, plus a pair of beige shoes and a beige straw handbag for the summer. With this basic minimum, almost any combination is attractive.... And here, as in no other department, quality is essential. Be strict with yourself. Save. Economise on food if you must but not on your handbags or shoes. Refuse to be seduced by anything that isn't first rate. The saying, "I cannot afford to buy cheaply," was never so true... The same is true of shoes and gloves.

Upon reading this I immediately looked down at my handbag. It's a faded forest green shoulder strap, covered in various bumpersticker like pins. It's also a pathetic excuse for a purse.
I empty the conents and stow it away. It happens to be borrowed and I can't very well toss it here and now.

My First Taste of Elegance

While roaming the streets of the town I now call home, I stumbled upon a used bookstore. After several minutes of, and I admit without shame, looking at the book covers and reading their titles, I became fixed by a worn paperback. Written on it's spine in the most graceful of fonts was the title, Elegance. On the cover, ever so dainty in a little black dress was a woman; with eyebrows and lips shaped like that of a goddesses. Two shopping bags sit next to her, she's holding a compact.

I cracked open the book that afternoon; the following night I had finished.

My search for the perfect summer read.. VERY successful.

Elegance is by far the most inspirational/motivational book I have yet read. Full of beauty, fashion and life learning tips, it never leaves my nightstand. It is my new way of life, it is my "Holy Grail of paper and ink". Through it I will become and possess the characteristics and wardrobe, of which an elegant woman would.

DAY OF THE DEAD 2010

HAVE:
spider webbs
spiders
garlin
red light
black light
strobe light
invitations

NEED:
grape jello
1/5 vodka
orange jello
1/5 vodka
candy corn
food coloring
butter
frosting
cupcake wraps
sprinkles
punch
sprite
pint vodka
dry ice
bags of candy
pumpkin
spooky tunes
shot glasses

Feel Good Inc.

2AM I've found a liking to music. Music in my ears; aka the iPod. While I clean, on the walk to work, when I paint my toenails, whatever... it's easy, it's free.

I've started decorating the house for Halloween. It's September 19th. Ha ha ha haaa.
Fellow zombies have been socializing on Facebook. Ashley, Corrie, Travis, some girl don't know her name friend of Travis, Josh. Wish I could be there to gather with them. Instead, I'll fix up as a zombie by myself; make up, and all. I'll sit at home and do the things I'm not supposed to do. Drink, smoke, think of you.

I've decided...
most influencial: PINK, Avril Leveign
hits the spot: stevie wonder, lady ga ga
confession: brittany spears, katy perry
country: taylor swift > carry underwood

_______

2PM Today I'm out to run errands. October Playboy issue for Ryan Rodenbaugh as he is in the military and I would like to send him a care package... what says you care more than dirty pictures and a good read? Picking up a few Halloween decorations surely. Need to go to the library and pick up a card but maybe I'll wait until tomorrow to do that. Right now, I'm enjoying being stoned. Listening to Long Beach Dub ALL STARS. Soldiers love a battle and a sailor loves the sea.

I've decided to become a teacher... for a few reasons. Key reasons being my love for art, Mrs.Frey, love for school as a child and Mike. Other reasons are as follow:
a) I love writing on white boards
b) I love changing the date
c) I like learning by teaching
d) I'm interested in art
e) when using my potential I produce quality work
f) I like socializing
g) I like school atmospher
h)
i) I can see myself doing this
j) others can see me doing this
k) I like to organize and decorate for the beginning of a school year
l) can be strict
m) passion > paycheck
n) summers off!
o) I like to express my oppinions and help others develop their own
p) free gym ;)
q) always something to do; sports games, clubs, plays
r) could potentially teach my own child
s) flexible clothing dress code
t) I enjoy a cheesey pick up line
u) I'm easy to understand when explaining directions
v) a way to prove I'm responsible
w) healthm, dental, 401K, yada yada
x) I want to make a difference
y) I want to live vicariously through my students
z) I love the A, B, C's... ;)

As a teacher I will always be learning. Which is what I want from life isn't it? I want to learn through life experiences. Surrounding myself by children of multiple ages will open my mind and help me understand the world as it progresses in all aspects. Also... Amanda has started college again. She's going to try and get a teaching degree. Friendly competition never hurt anyone :) That and the self satisfaction of one day coming in contact with Mike again and smothering it in his face. If there is someone who thinks I won't make someone of myself, it's him. Well, I'll show him. I'll show everyone and most importantly I'll feel acomplished. Which is what I'm aiming for... anything to feel, above average.


Mr.Lonely AKON
Rewritten


I have nobody for my own. Never thought that I'd be alone. I just want you to call my phone. I want me and you to work it out. I never wished to hurt my baby. I'm so loney...

Got this one good guy that always been there you know. Took all the bullshit. And then one day he can't take it no more and decides to leave.
Backtrackin the past few years. Cause ever since this man left me..I've been lonely.
Can't believe I had a guy like you and just let you walk out of my life. What really hurt me was I broke you're heart, you're a good guy and I didn't have no right.
Never thought the day would come when you run and I be chasin you. Make me so happy and now so lonely.
Never thought I'd be alone. Never thought you'd be gone this long.
I wish I'd never hurt my baby.
Boy, so lonely.

Hurt 9" NAILS
Rewritten

I wouldn't let you down.
I won't make you hurt.
I wear a crown of shame.
Full of regretted thoughts, I can not repair.
But feelings disappear and you are something else.
I am still right here.
What have I become?
My sweetest friend.
You went away.
In the end.
You could have it all.
My empire.
I won't let you down.
I won't make you hurt.
If I could start again.
I would keep myself
for you.

things I THINK I want in a man. so far.

...and things I DON'T want in a man. As well.

No, loud breathing.
No, exhaling loudly/moaning after taking drinks of beverages.
Yes, to good teeth.
Yes, to plump lips.
No, to obnoxious public outburts/speaking.
Yes, to possessing the ability to grill and grill well.
Yes, to a contagious laugh.

moving on, moving on

There is love of course. And then there's life, its enemy.
- Jean Anouilh

list of things I want to do in life

1. visit the pyramids of gizah
2. attend a Mariah Cary concert
3. own a cat
4. live in an apt. with a fire escape
5. dye my hair red
6. smoke a blunt in Jamaica
7. throw myself a birthday bash
8. learn to play the piano
9. learn to sing 1 song very well
10. buy a house
11. grow a secret garden
12. donate hair to locks of love
13. partake in a breast cancer awareness marathon
14. have Mom present at birth of first child
15. sell a piece of art between $10 - $99
16. sell a piece of art for over $100
17. squash grapes with feet and make wine
18. make Manny graham cracker fluff
19. visit Grandma Moses at her grave
20. visit every US state
21. (sensored)
22. Christmas carol with my husband
23. ride a scooter in Italy
24. make a scrapbook of my wedding
25. paint a mural in each of my children's bedrooms
26. make more than just a surviving income
27. design my wedding cake
28. enroll son and or daughter in ballet
29. sew an entire outfit
30. be a loyal spouse
31. complete a painting larger than myself
32. learn to salsa w my partner
33. invest in green contacts
34. make a fountain
35. steal a road sign w my name on it
36. ride an elephant
37. cook family breakfast every Sunday morning (kids choice)
38. own a king size bed after marriage
39. mermaid photoshoot
40. become a mother
41. get married
42. take a picture of my art hanging in someone's home
43. write a letter to the editor
44. be a mother my children WANT to talk to
45. plant a tree
46. never have in my posession a credit card
47. learn to balance a check book
48. make a drunken speech at a friend's wedding
49. become CPR certified
50. kiss and touch my lover everday we're together
51. be someone's hero




52. attend a phantom of the opera musical

learn as you grow

A few things I have learned:

I know that please, thank you and hello are more than just casual words and should be used much more genuinly, as well as often.
I am infact capable of using my fork and knife in unison.
Whining doesn't get anyone far in life without a pussy whipped man toy.
No place is a great place without good company and good food.
Unless you're a doctor or working for NASA it's not what you know, it's who you know.
Passion > a Paycheck